Protection

I will not throw up. I am trying to trust. I am trying to rest in His arms, but on days like today, it seems very difficult. I do all that I can to protect my children but unfortunately I have to let them go where they are not as protected. It is then that I have to trust Him. This makes no sense I know. Last night I found out that my former step-son and his family have moved back to the area. I loved this boy as my own. He was however molested by a member of my ex-husband's family. His mother never dealt with it (and neither did the family of the molester and the main reason I try to distance my children from that family as much as possible). On top of his molestation, he has been exposed to pornography on a regular basis since he was a young child. It doesn't take a genius to realize that it is very likely that he will repeat the actions taken on him. Now that he has moved back to the area, my ex-husband wants to have my children and my former step-son together for joint visitations. I have no legal ground to stand on. My ex-husband is not exactly an involved parent, even when he has the kids there. They are typically fed McDonald's and pizza and left to play video games and watch TV. It would be very easy for something to happen to one of my children. I know he thinks that I'm paranoid, but I don't think I am being so. If my step-son had received counseling and lived in a healthy family environment, I would not be near as concerned. I just want my ex to realize that the possibility is there. I think he views his son as just an innocent little boy still, but he is going to be 13 in a couple of months (the age that the molester was) and since he has not been given the tools to deal with this trauma, it is very likely that he will act out what he has been exposed to. Ugh, I feel so nauseous. I literally woke up this morning wanting to puke. I scheduled a "friendly" dinner for Friday night to meet with my ex and his fiance' where I am going to try and address my concerns. I don't know how it will be received. I want my tone to be positive but I want the seriousness of the situation to be understood. Oh, and I don't want to throw up, which I still feel like doing. Father help me.