Simplicity

Today was a good day. I made over 300 buckeyes for a wedding and still managed to do the housework and spend time with the kids. My highlight of the day had to be when I went out to hang linens on the line, which I love to do anyway, but I still had my apron on from doing the buckeyes. (I love this apron because I bought it in Amish country and it is simply beautiful.) I overheard my son say to our landlord, "Those are my mom's cooking clothes. She's making hundreds of buckeyes so she has to wear her cooking clothes. I love my mommy's buckeyes." A smile formed on my lips and traveled all the way to my heart. That moment exemplified all that I want to capture. I do long for that simplified life of doing housework, loving my kids and baking to my heart's content. While I was out running errands today, we saw a road side stand where an Amish family was selling baskets. There was a hint of envy that ran through me. I know I am idealizing the life of the Amish, but, I long for my life to be one of simplicity. My favorite place to go is a little bed and breakfast in Amish country run by a Minnonite couple where there is nothing but beauty and quiet. No TVs, no phones, no wireless internet in every room. I long to go back. I usually go in the fall (my fav season) but last year because of finances, I could not go. I honestly missed it. That weekend away seems to recharge me for the year. I love sleeping deeply and waking early. Walking the grounds and watching the sun rise over the hills. Sitting on a swing and hearing nothing but the clip clop of a horse and buggy going down the remote road. I love living where I do right now, but when I move, I long to move even farther out. I don't want to be able to hear my neighbors at all. I don't want to hear any traffic. I long to listen to the crickets in the evening and the birds in the morning. I long to stay home with my children. That is one I never see happening. The choices I have made in the past have led to consequences which will prevent that from ever happening. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. I wanted to raise my children and be there to greet them each day after school (if they went to school and I didn't homeschool them, which given the chance, I do believe I would homeschool). I am richly blessed. God has done miraculous things in my heart this past year. I feel as though this is just the beginning. I feel as though I am getting a glimpse of the woman God may want me to be. There is still so much clutter that I need to cut out of my life and out of my heart. Father, continue to strip away all that is unnecessary and guide my eyes and heart to You and Your will alone.