Day by day

So I am quickly realizing that this is going to be a process. I realized today some of the other things I am giving up by not getting re-married. If I am honest with myself, I will probably never own a home, not if I want to send my kids to college. That has so many implications in itself. I will never be able to go into my home and and paint the walls whatever color I want. The kids won't be able to have the pets that they want. I won't be able to have the joy of actually picking out a house and getting the keys to my own home. On top of not owning a home I'm realizing that I will never be able to be a stay at home mom. That has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. One by one God is holding out His hand and asking me to place my dreams in His hands. Do I trust him with ALL of my dreams? The ones that I have never even voiced. The ones that I hold deep in my heart. Can I really trust Him? I have always considered the possibility that I would remain single, but now I see that possibility moving to a probability. That scares me. I hate not knowing. I am a girl that loves a plan. That can see points A, B, and C. And right now I feel like I can even see the very next step. I am understanding that this will be a process. That day by day, dream by dream, I will continue to learn how to trust Him more and release those things that I hold dear.