the vacation that may never come

It's been a while since I wrote anything. I've been so busy and I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of "rush". I never seem to have quite enough time, energy, money, etc to quite catch up. I get close, but then something comes flying at me and I'm just knocked on my ass again. Such is life I suppose. I just long to be able to just turn all the "noise" off and rest. Just me and the kids. We need a vacation so very badly. We have never taken a family vacation just the three of us. In four years, not a single vacation. Sure we've taken a weekend or an overnight a couple times, but never a real vacation. I have a friend that has invited me to come to her place down south and I want to go with everything within me. I just can't figure out the finances. As far as vacations go, it would be ridiculously cheap, but I can't afford cheap! Just to pay for the gas to get there and back plus paying for food and the travel done while we are down there. But, it's a vacation and I want to go. I want to take a road trip with my kids and and play in the ocean and collect sea shells. I want to take an obscene amount of pictures. I just want to go. Well, if God decides to drop a few hundred dollars in my lap, then I guess we could do it. Otherwise, I just don't see it as possible. We so need the break though. We found out that my son's health problems are all just stress related. How horrible it that that I have a 7 year old that is totally stressed out. What am I doing wrong? I love my kids with everything within me and I try so very hard to provide a safe haven for them in our home. But obviously I'm messing up. I just want our little, stressed out family to be able to walk away from everything here and take a break. See some new scenery, have a change of pace, enjoy being together without feeling the constant rush. I want a family vacation, I just don't see it happening, which just burdens me more. Why can't I provide this for my kids? This is nothing extravagant, it's just needed. I really feel that it is needed.