1 - 2 sucker punch

Wow. What a day. Or, really, what an afternoon. The two things that are the most important to me, being a wife and mother, are under attack. First my mother-in-law. She has been critical of me from time to time and I have tried to handle it with grace and understanding. I have tried to take what she has said and evaluate if there is something I need to change. 3 months into our marriage she gave me a book and a letter. The book was about a woman's perspective of life on the farm. In her letter, she stated that she didn't think I understood what farm life was about. I was hurt and offended. However, I read the book and then sat with her for a couple of hours and we had a good talk. I confessed to her that I do feel insecure about the farm life, because this all so new to me. Things seem to be going well. Then a couple weeks ago, little comments were being made. I tried to blow them off and chalk it up to "maybe she didn't mean it that way" kind of thing. One comment (on facebook) last week hit a bit hard and I did respond. I tried to be very respectful, yet stand my ground. She never responded. I then tried to reach out to her by sending little messages to her. She never responded. Then today, I posted a little poster/sign on facebook about teaching our daughters about the kind of man they should marry and raising our sons to be that kind of man. I left the comment that it was simple, but full of truth. This was her response: "Not simple at all. I think my son, your husband is that kind of man. But look at the other end of the spectrum, God gave man a Woman to be his Help Mate , to share his life, to know what he has to do each day and BE a help mate not one who expects him to meet all her needs and she does nothing in return. A famer's wife's job is not contained to the four walls of her home, it includes the day to day work of the farming operation. Would you as a parent not feed , house & get medical care for your children? So it is with being a farmers's wife, you are responsible for seeing that the animals that put food on your table and a roof over your head are cared for, fed, watered, milked, medicated, etc. YOU are responsible for being the help mate to your husband. I think the only thing you read from the book by Connie Oney about farm life was that she was an insecure bride. Being insecure is completely unbibical. Phillippines 4: 13 says" I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". Put your insecurities aside and do something to help your husband. There are calf chore people needed on the week-end (you are not home schooling then). (My husband) is in charge of the record keeping and he has not had time to finish a single month since your married him. I think the poster should say learn to be a compassionate wife and not expect your husband to do everything for you and you do nothing in return for him. Instead of handing him "to do" list offer what can you do to make his life easier." Wow. I felt like I had been sucker-punched. Tears sprang to my eyes as I reread it, hoping that somehow I wasn't really seeing this. And it was on my wall. For all to see! I have decided that I am just not even going to respond. When my husband gets home tonight I'm going to show it to him. I think that the response needs to come from him. Which will be very hard for him. He does NOT like confrontation. But I don't think I need to go running to her saying, "My husband thinks I am a great wife!". I am trying not to be hurt, but I am. And I am hurt deeply. I would give anything for my husband. He has had some health issues over the past couple months and I have done everything I know to help him. I have tried to care for, and made sure that he rested. I was his advocate to the doctors, spending hours on the phone with them. I did so much that we fell horribly behind in homeschooling and I am still trying to catch up. He is doing much better now, but he is still not back to his full schedule at work. Her words hurt me; they wound me. And, they downright anger me. She has no idea what goes on in this house. I feel like she thinks I sit here on some throne twiddling my thumbs commanding my poor husband to do as I please. How dare she?! Even if I was a horrible, horrible wife does she really think that facebook is the place to tell me that? Doesn't she think that she should take her concerns to me . . . or maybe even her son?! Ugh. How do I handle this? I want to have a good relationship with her, I do. But I can't have her attacking me.

But wait . . . there's more!!

While I am still reeling from that I get a phone call from the ex. He is LIVID because although his child support to me has decreased by almost $200 a month, he is now having to reimburse for medical insurance. This is not my decision. This is coming from the state. This then leads into an absolute attack on me as a mother. His new wife gets on the phone and is literally yelling at me regarding homeschooling the kids. Basically, my children will grow up to be idiots, too sheltered from the world to function. She even criticized their piano teacher. She doesn't understand why the kids aren't reading music yet. They have only had 2 lessons!!! She also was upset that while my children see my husband's family as "family" they don't see her family as "family". Really? They see her family maybe twice a year! My husband's family are active in their lives and they see them all the time. We actually have MONTHLY get-togethers. I finally gave an excuse to get off the phone and hung up.

All of this happened in a span of two hours. I am horribly discouraged. I feel like I am being attacked on all sides. This is after having to enforce some really tough consequences on the kids this weekend as well. I'm going into today emotionally and physically drained and then this is what I face. I feel like Satan is trying his darndest to bring me down. I am so grateful that I have my Heavenly Father to lean on. I desperately need His support, strength and wisdom. I am still really fighting being completely discouraged. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing too. Ugh. I need an extra amount of strength. Father, hold me up, because I can't stand on my own.